Irini Georgi

Everything is Epstein. Everything.

I started writing about the Epstein files with the initial goal of talking about beauty standards. I’m laughing at my own naivety. Just so you know, I failed at that goal.

Very quickly, I realized we’re no longer talking about one man, we’re talking about Epstein culture. It’s another level of rape culture, but even that feels insufficient. I won’t end up talking just about that either. I’ll talk about everything. Epstein culture seems to have been a foundational layer of civilization and the right hand of power. Actually, not even the right hand of power. It was power itself.

In the files, we see men from every corner of the elite: politics, academia, Wall Street, Silicon Valley, royalty, Hollywood, top law firms, and, broadly speaking, the ultra-rich.

At this point, I want to offer a deep apology to conspiracy theorists, an apology I don’t know how we’ll deal with in the next pandemic, when we’ll once again have to argue that vaccines aren’t evil. Where do you even begin, and how do you salvage anything after all this?

The files pulled back the heavy curtain of patriarchy (and of “normal” reality) and revealed the truth about its darkest corners. For the first time, it’s so clear that society can’t look away and pretend not to see that these corners are rooted in the sexual exploitation of children.

We can’t look away, unless there’s a big enough distraction to force us to look elsewhere. Because it’s widely acknowledged that right now we’re spectators of a war that, while certainly intentional, may also have been sparked to make us forget the files and what was found in them. As it was vividly put: “If everyone named in the files was to be charged, the entire government, the entire System, would collapse.” So, don’t look. As Trump, whose name appears in the files thousands of times and who has been accused of sexual misconduct by 28 women, said: “Are you still talking about this?” It’s called diversion politics.

Years ago, I wrote that there’s a realization that comes after 30, especially after engaging with feminism, which is more disturbing and disgusting than the rest: that most of the male attention we received in our lives, came when we were 12–13 years old.

I said that young girls, as targets, are the easiest prey for a bad man, because they’re still embarrassed and afraid, they don’t react, they won’t shout, they won’t defend themselves.

The hundreds of men in the files are just the tip of the iceberg. These are billionaires, oligarchs, the people who run the world. That’s what I used to say, and I would add “not all men.” Today, I’ll say it seems to be a whole lot of them, especially those who aren’t afraid to act because they believe there will be no consequences.

As The Guardian puts it, the Epstein files offer women an unprecedented chance to “eavesdrop” on conversations they would never normally hear. It’s the most deeply disturbing and enraging lecture hall imaginable. We’re hearing what a (massive) global elite group of men think and say about women when they believe women aren’t listening.

Part of the tech elite hides behind a puritanical veil of respectability, although that veil is gradually dropping. You used to try to talk to ChatGPT about pornography and it would say, “this content may violate our usage policies.” But gradually, Silicon Valley is allowing conversations about sex. People already have romantic relationships with chatbots, waiting lists for rape dolls are huge, Elon Musk’s Grok generates non-consensual porn of women and underage girls without consequences, and on the social media accounts of teenage girls with millions of followers, countdowns to their 18th birthdays are openly posted, because that age marks their debut on OnlyFans. (With podcast bros as their “agents”, profiting both from the women on OnlyFans and from insulting them to their audiences.) We used to worry that “teen” was the most searched term on porn platforms. Those times feel innocent now.

Citizens Reunited states that the files revealed how closely the “broligarchy” (tech billionaire bros) was tied to Epstein’s circle. The sexual exploitation of children for profit is not a bug. It’s not a moderation issue. It’s a feature of the system. As Carole Cadwalladr says: “Epstein’s world is our world. That’s the darkest revelation of these files. The culture of child sexual exploitation is woven into the internet.” The algorithm tracks, identifies, exploits, and amplifies every related male impulse, and turns it into profit. The system is simply doing its job.

A culture that worships female youth and innocence despises female age and experience. That’s pedophilic culture. Hatred toward adult women and sexual desire for underage girls are two sides of the same coin.

We are crones, witches, hags. Because we are a threat. Because, with rare exceptions, see Ghislaine Maxwell and others who serve these men, we are protectors of children and of a world where rich men cannot act with impunity.

Amelia Gentleman in The Guardian references a phrase by editor Tina Brown: “we are living in a pedophile’s ball”. All this is happening while the beauty standards of the late ’90s and early 2000s have made a triumphant return. I spoke some time ago about the end of body positivity, the return of heroin chic and the extremely thin female body, along with low-rise jeans, the infamous quote “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” preventative baby Botox, and facelifts starting at 35.

The beauty industry no longer sells aesthetics or anti-aging. It sells youth. It sells imagined adolescence. Adulthood, and especially maturity, is treated as a flaw, a problem to be hidden and fixed at all costs, because it’s seen as repulsive and unacceptable. A woman over 30, 40 or 50, who knows who she is, who is successful and wise, is demonized. She becomes the “spinster with cats,” the witch who must be burned.

Author Feminista Jones asks: “Are women finally making the connection between the beauty industry’s obsession with anti-aging and the pedophilic nature of patriarchy? Has it finally clicked that your obsession with not looking ‘old’, meaning over 25, serves the predatory male gaze?”

These impossible beauty standards for women were created by men attracted to underage girls. Pedophiles. Male desire for small, fragile, girlish bodies reveals a desire for women who are docile, who don’t take up space, who submit. It has always been about power. Power over young, vulnerable girls who couldn’t reject powerful men’s advances, and power over us, adult women, so that we spend time and money chasing something we can never regain, risking our bodies and mental health in the process.

But why do I say everything is Epstein? It’s not theoretical. Fashion and beauty culture in the late ’90s and early 2000s were shaped by the Epstein “aesthetic.”

Brands like Victoria’s Secret, PINK, and Bath & Body Works shaped Millennial culture globally. They were everywhere: magazines, music videos, films, and they primarily targeted girls and teens. All of these brands belonged to L Brands, created by Les Wexner, whose finances and fortune were managed by Epstein. This is not an exaggeration. Epstein helped define what an entire generation of women was supposed to look like.

These brands didn’t just sell products. They defined desirability for a whole generation, merging youth with sexuality, putting pre-teen girls in thongs and push-up bras, and tiny shorts stamped “sexy” or “flirt.” And these brands spawned countless clones with massive influence. I still remember the Irish rape case where a 17-year-old girl’s underwear was used in court as evidence that she “was asking for it” because it had a logo saying “little devil.”

A generation of girls who grew up in the ’90s absorbed all of this: the clothes, the messaging, the plastic bodies in the shop windows. Many internalized these standards long before they had the language to talk about sexualization, power, or patriarchy. We’re talking about a very specific moment in history that can be precisely identified.

The women who grew up then are now 40+ and still trying to untangle issues of body image, sexuality, aging, and self-worth.

Jameela Jamil says this industry hasn’t just normalized the pedophilic horror story of Lolita (Epstein’s private jet was named after it), it glamorized it. The story of a girl groomed and then raped by her stepfather.

The Lolita ideal is still alive. It’s the aesthetic ideal: childlike and teenage features. To this day, post-MeToo, many women, even women in their 40s, go to great lengths to adjust their aesthetics, faces, bodies, voices, and behaviors to mimic 15-year-old girls. All for the male gaze.

Men who are secretly pedophiles and run podcasts try to tell us it’s natural for men of any age to desire teenagers due to higher fertility. They claim it’s biology and evolution. And yet Marilyn Monroe, in her 30s, was the ultimate global sex symbol.

Let’s say it again: beauty standards from the ’90s until today were created by men attracted to children.

America’s Next Top Model (another Netflix documentary that sparked discussion) exploited this culture, selling fashion and body positivity. But ANTM wasn’t just a competition, it was a reality show. The contestants were the product. Not just their bodies, but their pain, their suffering, their humiliation.

The girls had to follow orders, submit completely, starve themselves, risk their health, lose bodily autonomy (extreme mandatory makeovers), endure sexual abuse on camera, and then be gaslit and blamed. That was the only way to stay on the show. It’s exactly the same as Epstein’s promise: “Behave, do what we tell you without complaint, and we might promote you to become a famous model.” (These words appear throughout the files.)

And now to the bigger picture. An article by The Verge finally made everything make sense. It argues that the entire anti-woke movement appears to have been coordinated. It’s no coincidence that the worst people were in that circle: Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, Larry Summers, Steve Bannon, and of course Donald Trump. Their interests aligned. And they had a vested interest in crushing the hope of social justice.

The files show that the anti-woke movement was not driven by people who “cared about free speech.” Nor was it a grassroots movement of ordinary conservatives. It was a coordinated effort by an unimaginably powerful network of men who felt threatened by MeToo. Their emails suggest that Epstein himself organized actions against the movement.

Epstein’s influence campaign began in the early 2000s, especially in science. He closely monitored MeToo and acted as a consultant for men who saw themselves as victims of cancel culture. He wrote that with so many men being accused of harassment, he had become in demand and was asked for advice daily. The Guardian reports that in one email he wrote people were asking him, “when will this madness end?” A coordinated effort emerged to undermine both the movement and the women who spoke out.

At the same time, this shows something else: for a brief moment, MeToo achieved what no one expected: it limited the impunity of the powerful. In 2008, Epstein secured preferential treatment and near freedom despite charges. But in 2019, renewed scrutiny led him to federal prison, where he died awaiting trial for trafficking minors. That seems to have set off alarm bells.

And then look what happened. Peter Thiel made a strategic move that contributed to what I call The Great Regress™. He funded the so-called “vibe shift”, meaning the return of slurs as “edgy,” feminism as “cringe,” and the narrative that feminism is the enemy of men. “Anti-woke” became the convenient label that masked the real goal of avoiding accountability.

It was a brilliant strategy. The anti-woke movement sustained itself and snowballed. Journalists wanted something new after MeToo, but more importantly, every conservative male influencer, and every bro with a podcast, ran with it. They built their racist, homophobic, misogynistic rhetoric on top of it, monetizing a growing population of men who felt lost after consecutive economic crises and shifts in male identity.

White House invitations, handshakes, photos with Trump, none of it is accidental. The manosphere became the perfect laundering machine, washing away these men’s actions through a massive wave of misogyny that crashed over MeToo, and drowned it.

Epstein helped shape this reality. Because with enough money and power, you can create an entire culture that reverses the course of collective consciousness.

The article goes further. It suggests he may have played a role in destabilizing democracy in the US through alliances, ideological influence, and political connections, creating instability that served their interests. As he wrote to Thiel in 2016: “Brexit was just the beginning.” Exploiting collapsing systems is easier than finding new opportunities. (His words.) The article concludes that we are living in the world Epstein wanted. (And I haven’t even mentioned eugenics.)

Epstein had politicians from around the world sharing confidential government information with him, and he advised them on everything from taxation to military action. Under the guise of dinners and vacations on his island, he was shaping global political strategy. Except at those dinners, the main course was underage girls or, if you go deeper into conspiracy theories, even babies, something I’m increasingly inclined to believe.

In Theroux’s Netflix documentary on the manosphere, HS Tikky Tokky says it clearly: “the government owes us.” The manosphere was weaponized by forces that wanted a Trump government, against woke culture. Elon Musk buying Twitter and reinstating a platform for hate, was that random, or part of the plan? Yes, he’s unstable, but who’s to say someone didn’t plant the idea at one of those dinners, knowing he’d take the bait? At this point, nothing seems far-fetched to me. These connections make perfect sense. Plans can have multiple layers, plan A, B, C, and we only get to see 1%.

The traces get covered. The “liar’s dividend” is a manipulation tactic where deepfakes and AI-generated content allow public figures to claim real incriminating evidence is fake, helping them avoid accountability. In simple terms: they use the tech those exact billionaires own, create fake evidence, bury the real one, muddy the waters, and weaken truth itself, because it becomes impossible to know what or who to believe. As a bonus, they undermine trust in media and democratic institutions.

And it wasn’t that hard, because for years we turned a blind eye and laughed at those shouting that the elite was eating babies. We looked away while women survivors spoke out, and we let them be labeled crazy, institutionalized, or conveniently “disappeared.” And now, with wars all around us and democracy seemingly gone, we wonder how the hell we got here.

Well—it wasn’t out of the blue.

—Dig up the golf courses.

 

 

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What is feminist dating?

What is feminist dating?

The term “feminist dating” is a bit cringe, I know, but it’s only temporary. Because dating needs updating. As we know it, it’s old-fashioned, archaic and problematic, based on ideas and ideals of the past.

A little of the 1800s, where the man had to be a gentleman and the woman a “lady”. A little of the 1950s, with the man being a provider and the woman a virgin and home maker, a little of the 70s sexual liberation, meaning sex before marriage is allowed, but women can’t have a body count over 5 or they are cheap sluts. A little of the 80s and 90s, when we read on women’s magazines “10 ways to drive him wild in bed” -just the man, because female pleasure was too complicated and the clitoris a mythical organ like the horn of a unicorn, and on top of that, you’d better fake an orgasm to look cool and make the man feel good. At the same time, we had the idea that women are supposed to play hard to get, so no means yes, so out of the window goes consent.

Add a dash of porn culture, where abuse becomes the norm, and throw it all in the dating apps mixing bowl. The cocktail is toxic. That’s why I decided to write a book and start a movement redefining dating between men and women, so that it’s healthy, fun, equal and mutually pleasurable. Feminist dating is the dating you want, even if you still haven’t come to terms with the word “feminism”.

If you want to put the new rules of dating into practice and change the way you approach relationships and communication with the opposite sex, I’m here for you. Fill in the form and I’ll get back to you with a plan!

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How to avoid the Friendzone

Friendzone

How to avoid the Friendzone

Feminism rejects the friend zone concept and rightly so, as it’s used by men who pretend they want to be friends with women they are attracted to, in order to enter their circle, gain their trust, wait until they’re feeling vulnerable and then try to get them to have sex with them. This is lying, manipulation, betrayal and, of course, misogyny. I’m not talking about this. What I am talking about, is the accidental friend zone, when you didn’t take action and show initiative early on, and then you find the momentum is gone. That said, here’s my advice.

1. Start as you mean to go on

Yes, it’s scary and you risk rejection, but you need to communicate your romantic interest sooner rather than later. This can help avoid misunderstandings and mixed signals, and show her you’re not just looking for friendship.

 2. Be clear but not creepy

Don’t stop being friendly and smiley, many men turn creepy when they want to express interest. Build a special connection, flirt, be funny, compliment her or, even better, tease her lovingly (meaning without impacting her self-confidence, it’s called benevolent teasing). Ask her out making sure she understands it will just be the two of you.

3. State your intentions

Expressing your feelings directly is the ultimate challenge. If you want to minimize the risk, try asking “have you ever wondered what we’d be like as a couple?” or say you had a dream that you two were kissing. You’ll judge if it’s a good idea to proceed by her reaction.

4. Respect her decision

If she doesn’t feel the same way about you, you have to accept her choice and respect her boundaries. You can do this by giving her space and focusing on yourself, on your hobbies, or meeting new people.

5. Time to move on

If you have feelings for someone, it’s very hard to stay away from them, especially if they seek out your company. But remember, if you like them romantically, it’s not friendship. You’ll be torturing yourself if you try to remain friends, and it will keep getting worse. Do yourself a favour and move on.

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Dangerous masculinity role models

Toxic masculinity

Dangerous masculinity role models

I have made it my life’s mission to talk to men about feminism. It’s not that easy, though. You see, men don’t listen to women, especially women who talk to them about feminism. The problem is that men listen to other men. And you know what kind of men talk to other men? Let me tell you.

You probably know Jordan Peterson. The handsome silver fox who in another life we might have called daddy, who is clever and charismatic, and used to sort of make sense, even though he was terribly selective in the research he used to support his arguments. He just loves to talk about the biological differences of the sexes and how different men and women’s nature is, you know, the usual kind of stuff boomers say, but in the last few years, I almost worry about him. (I mean, even the best of us are in therapy to resolve issues with our mother and grandmother, and even the best of us cry all the time, but I don’t cry that much in front of the camera even when I talk about the hundreds of rape stories women have confided in me).

I don’t know if Peterson really lost it or if he’s doing it because every time he cries on camera he wipes away his tears with hundred dollar bills or for a completely different reason. I suspect he may be in the category of those who started their online career relatively modestly, and gradually became radicalized by their own audience. Yes, radicalization doesn’t just happen from the creator to the audience, it also happens the other way round and it’s a very interesting phenomenon that to a small degree, happened to me too. (To the left, to the left).

In the manosphere, in particular, many started out as, say, fitness coaches talking about squats and protein, and because of the public’s thirst for edgy content, they turned it into misogyny, alt-rightism, and machismo.

All the way to the dystopia of Andrew Tate. Who openly told young men to rape women to put them in their place, and the man wasn’t just talk, he practiced what he preached, he even had a trafficking gig. Talk about authenticity, living the criminal dream.

Tate was hugely influential but no longer exists on the internet. He had been cut from all social media except for a brief reappearance on Twitter, in which, thanks to the genius of Elon Musk, his account had been reinstated, but enter Greta Thunberg as a goddess ex machina, and he was sent to prison.

The thing is, Tate was just the tip of the iceberg. There are thousands of neophytes out there who want to be Tate in Tate’s place, and they’re doing everything they can to make it happen, because they know there’s a gap in the market and they are aching to fill the hole.

Tiktok is filled with would-be Taters (I don’t know if the word exists), telling fifteen-year-olds to be “real men”, to take steroids to get big, to stop whining, to stop acting like little bitches, to learn how to make money online, (probably by scamming 12-year-olds), to invest in crypto, and if they are in their twenties, they are worthless if they don’t have a lambo. A Lamborghini. In their twenties. In this economy.

Taters pop up on social media like dick pics in the dms of girls with pics in a bikini, and they constantly talk about what it means to be a man, which in their worldview is to be a gym bro, make tons of money, not talk about feelings and other simp stuff like that, be angry all the time and view women as holes, unless it’s time to procreate. (Even then, women won’t be real people, but household sex robots who cook, clean and provide sex and care).

Taters become pop sensations who actually influence millions of teenage boys who see a video first, and then another pops up on their feed, and another, and another, until they believe it all and adjust their idea of reality through the distorted filter of what we call problematic masculinity.

Men, especially young men, are in dire need of guidance. They are desperate for guidance from almost anyone to help them make sense of a changing world, a world where what they were taught as children, no longer seems to apply. They lived through the MeToo movement and saw women angry, and their immediate reaction was “not all men”, meaning defensive or passive aggressive, but that’s not enough anymore. They are becoming openly aggressive.

How dare women be angry when it’s them who have all the privilege? The whole world tries to take care of them and protect them, how many women have you seen doing manual labor in a blue-collar job? They don’t have to go to war and they get saved first if the ship goes down.

But worst of all, these dirty hoes deprive Good Guys of sex, since none of them agree to have sex with me. By what right, you b*tch, do you say no to a Good Guy?

And they talk a load of nonsense about “patriarchy”, as if it’s not them who have the upper hand and have turned men to beta subs. They talk about “rape culture” as if we don’t all condemn true rapists, they say they don’t like wolf-whistles, then why did you wear that skirt you slut? To top it all, they say genders are more than two, all that woke bullshit, libtard feminazis, that’s what they are.

They say masculinity is “toxic” and they pretend they’re into dudes you can’t really call men, sissies, pussies, simps and beta males, who talk about their feelings and cry like little girls, all soft and weak, who will never be real men.

Because real men aren’t like that. They are tough. Strong. Powerful. Dominating. They don’t need to talk much. They’re alphas. These are the kind of men who win at life. Everything else is lies and propaganda, for a new order of things where men will lose their hard-earned rights and will be emasculated in childhood, growing up like girls, lest they express their true male biological nature. Whatever woke crap they try to sell us, is part of their Plan to feminize men, and the real man must resist”.

And resist they do. They resist by turning to neo-conservatism, i.e. alt-rightism, i.e. the far right, and misogyny. They desperately seek to belong and feel like they fit in a society that is changing at a swift pace, and where progressives laugh in their faces and call them uneducated fools. All they have left is hatred and resistance to anything progressive. They in turn mock and curse progressivism, because it is the only way to exorcise their fear and the threat that no one needs who they are anymore, no one needs what they were taught to be. Because the masculinity they think is pure and authentic, is an insidious social construct.

The trend is ubiquitous. The amount of misogynistic comments I get on Tiktok is heartbreaking. I do find them interesting, from an anthropological and sociological point of view, but what saddens me is that we could talk about so much more complex concepts, like analyze Barbie and beauty culture from a post-feminist and capitalist point of view, or redefine masculinity and deconstruct the male experience at a time when the delusion of patriarchy as a logical structure of society is being shaken to the core. But no. Still, after all this cultural shift, mentioning the word “femicide” or saying that a joke might be sexist makes you a feminazi. Honestly, I miss the dialogue we could be having.

Masculinity is in crisis and we don’t have enough positive role models of evolved masculinity. Modern masculinity. You know what we have? We have Bedros Keuilian. A pumped up Russian-American entrepreneur who has built an empire based on men’s need to belong, and to regain a sense that the masculinity they know still has value. Keuilian offers many services, he is also the writer of a book called “Man Up”, but the most infamous of all is the Modern Day Knight Project, which trust me, has nothing to do with romance or magic.

The MDK Project is a 75-hour bootcamp for the ultimate alpha male. Keuilian says “some would call it torture, but I call it opportunity”. Men go and pay money to have some ex-military dudes with muscles and cigars force them to roll in mud for three days, (we’re talking lots of mud), on wires and rocks, to hike up mountains loaded with gear, roll in mud again for long distances, while they are being bullied, screamed at and put through frat style hazing. They don’t let them sleep, they make them do drills that simulate Navy Seals’ Hell Week (that none of them have trained for), they nearly waterboard them, and even make them dig their own graves and lie in them until they nearly suffocate. A man died the 5th time the program ran. Of course, everyone has signed a liability waiver.

Do you know how much they pay for the privilege of doing the MDK project? Eighteen thousand dollars ($18,000).

If I wanted to laugh I’d say that’s the gayest cry for help I’ve ever seen, paying to be soaking wet for three days lying in ditches next to other sweaty men, that’s the only horse shoe theory I can subscribe to, because otherwise you’re better off paying a dominatrix to put you through this, it will be cheaper and in the end you could have sex if you want, but I don’t think you care about that at all.

But it’s not funny. What is the least funny of all, is that they have also created the Squire program for teenage boys, from 13-14 years old. They send the boys along with the fathers, so that the boys can become “men”. (Because normal childhood trauma isn’t enough, so let’s add some more for good measure).

In fact, the benefits of the program include “he will no longer behave like a child”. The narrative is chillingly accurate from the opposite side of our worldview. It’s that society wants boys to be weak and soft and that Hollywood portrays the male ideal of the submissive loser, so you need to protect your son from the feminization they want.

“They” refers to us who want kids to be kids. “They” refers to us who want men to be whole humans. Because patriarchy has drawn a vertical line down the human condition, and has decided on this side are the masculine traits: strength, protection, power, logic, and on this side the feminine: sweetness, care, communication, emotion. But women are allowed to borrow a bit from the masculine side, because for a woman, aspiring to be more like a man is positive, while for a man, wanting anything to do with femininity is shameful.

The point is not to be a man in touch with “your feminine side”. There is no feminine and masculine side. The point is to be whole humans, to live the full spectrum of humanity, or we condemn ourselves to self-mutilation and life in the prison of patriarchy. Stereotypical masculinity wants men to live half lives.

We have to protect our boys. Girls may be at risk from the beauty standards of Instagram and Tiktok and from the oligarchy of expected femininity, but boys are at risk of losing their very humanity at the altar of masculinity.

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The male experience

men under patriarchy

The male experience

Within feminism, women talk about what it means to grow up as a girl and live as a woman, recording memories, events, traumatic experiences, repeating patterns, our relationship with our bodies from pre-adolescence to post-menopause. Thousands of articles, testimonials, discussions.

We share how others see our bodies and how it makes us feel, how we’ve been harassed and abused, and thoughts and feelings. All in all, this is the female experience. The experience of living as a woman. Women, we know. But what about men?

There is no detailed record of the male experience. Men don’t share things like this with each other, unless it’s isolated incidents for laughter or to talk about sexual conquests. As a society, we don’t talk about the male experience and the male trauma. Not because it doesn’t exist but because it is assumed that men will overcome it without help.

There is no discussion of the common male experience and what they have lived in their bodies, except in the military or sports. How do they deal with the pressure they suffer since they are little boys to act “like men” and then the pressure from their peers and society to have sex?

How do they feel? What are their thoughts while they are in adolescence? What do they go through when they realize their penis size is below what is seen as “normal”? How do they feel when they look in the mirror and their bodies don’t look like the ones in superhero movies? How do they feel when they realize their height will forever be an obstacle?

We’ve been fed the caricature of the teenage boy who only thinks about sex 24/7, but I’m sure it’s much more complicated than that. What are his feelings? I know men can be raped by women too, through psychological violence and manipulation. And when they tell their friends, they receive mockery instead of gentleness and care.

Who talks about this? Where is the support for men for all they go through? Who talks about men’s need for tenderness and affection, which they often fulfill through sex because they are ashamed to ask for it by name? How many men dare to say that they do not want sex but intimacy and companionship?

Articles written for men focus on how to become fit, rich or a player, or at best something humorous and easy to digest. There’s nothing raw and honest, about weakness or inadequacy or feeling like you’re not enough. Nothing real about fear, with unadulterated feeling. And having this content is absolutely necessary, because we all feel that way, it’s only human to feel that way, and men have to pretend they feel nothing.

It’s time to document the male experience and redefine masculinity, because being a man isn’t all about muscles, sex and money. Power and balls are not enough. Men are so much more than that and deserve to live the full spectrum of human existence. We’ re on the same side.

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My Story

Ειρήνη Γεωργή Irini Georgi

My Story

I quit a 20 year career in advertising, to become a writer and dating coach, specifically in feminist dating. So, what’s my story?

It all started in June 2016. I came across an open letter written by Brock Turner’s victim in the notorious Stanford case. If you don’t remember it, he was a student athlete caught red-handed assaulting a girl while she was unconscious outside a college party. He only got a 6-month slap-on-the-wrist-sentence, so that “his life won’t be ruined”.

In the letter, the young woman spoke about what had happened during the court trial. How they blamed her, how they slut shamed her, asking her what she was wearing, why she had consumed alcohol and why she had gone to a party alone, without her boyfriend.

I read it and I was triggered, although in 2016, I don’t think I even knew what “trigger” meant. I felt I needed to say something, to write something. Up until then, for years I used to write my own dating stories on Facebook and on my blog. They were funny and lighthearted, because dating does offer a lot of opportunities for laughter, especially when you tell your friends all about it later on, even if it’s mortifying while it’s going on. I had lots and lots of funny stories, enough to have been offered a book deal.

The thing is, there were a few stories I’d never told. There was nothing humorous about them, although they too had begun with a meet-cute or felt romantic at the start. I tried to forget about them, never fathomed sharing them, the whole point was to make people laugh, right? They won’t find me clever or funny if I start talking about sexual assault and rape, I thought, so why put myself on the spot?

But in June of 2016, almost a year before MeToo went viral, I felt I had to say something. I decided to write about rape culture in a way that made it real and part of everyday life. I knew it didn’t just happen in Greece, where I’m from. It was ubiquitous.

I told the story of the Brock Turner case and explained the concepts of slut shaming and victim blaming. And to really drive the point home, I told the stories I’d never told before. My MeToo stories, before MeToo was known. It was a ten-page Word document, and I posted the text on Facebook.

I thought ok, it’s done now, I don’t have to think about it anymore, I did my duty, I can relax. I was wrong. What happened after, was what changed my life. It was gradual, but I couldn’t go back. Because in Greece, back in 2016, no one had talked about those things publicly before.

I started receiving messages from hundreds of women and girls telling me what had happened to them. Hundreds of stories of assault, sexual abuse and rape, by women who asked me to tell them what their story was, because they couldn’t even face the fact they had been raped. Hundreds of stories by women who needed to talk to someone who would believe them and tell them it wasn’t their fault. And they all begged me to keep writing. So I had no choice.

Later that year I was invited to do a TEDx and then interviews, articles, documentaries and so on. I did it all as a hobby, because I had a “real job”.

For seven years, I have been writing about rape culture and everyday rape, educating people on all these foreign concepts, including consent. Because sex without consent is rape, so if people don’t know exactly what consent means, they don’t know whether what’s happening is sex or rape. 90% of the stories I receive, stories that would never stand a chance in court, just like mine, are in the context of dating. And I know that it starts way before the actual date, from the very first message they sent on an app.

Dating as we know it is entwined with rape culture. From the beginning, I knew it was important to not just speak to women, because this isn’t a “women’s issue”. It’s men who need to listen because men are the ones who can actually stop perpetuating that culture and solve the problem. My book, “Who women want: a feminist dating guide for men”, was published in Greece in early 2023.

I knew it was time to make my passion a full time job. I did a number of courses including Personal Coaching by the National and Kapodistrian University of Athens, Counselling by the Achology Institute, Working with Men, by Terry Real & the Relational Life Institute and Compassionate Inquiry in Action: An Experiential Course for the Healing of Deep Traumatic Wounds, by Gabor Maté, Attachment Styles Theory, by Dr Diane Poole Heller and Trauma Institute, Socratic Questioning, by the Beck Institute of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rumination by the Beck Institute of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. All in order to call myself a Coach. And I won’t stop learning.

I want to put all my newly acquired skills, all my experience in Communication and all the experiential knowledge I’ve gained into practice, to help men be better. 

My dream is to help redefine dating, leaving problematic stereotypes and restrictive gender expectations in the past and creating a new mentality around romantic relationships, where romance has nothing to do with rose petals, sunsets, moonlight and poetry (even though they’re fine if they’re your jam), but everything to do with genuine connections, equality, openness and vulnerability, authenticity, mutuality, fun, laughter and pleasure. This is the dating we want and we deserve. Read more about my coaching, here

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© 2023 Irini Georgi

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The 50 commandments

The 50 commandments

1. Feminism is the fight for equality

2. There is still no gender equality anywhere on earth

3. Gender roles are a social construct

4. There are no toys for boys and toys for girls

5. There are no clothes for boys and clothes for girls

6. Acting “like a girl” is not shameful or offensive

7. Women have the right to be angry

8. Men have the right to cry

9. Women aren’t destined to be mothers

10. Men aren’t destined to make money

11. Women’s value doesn’t depend on their looks

12. Men’s value doesn’t depend on the size of their penis or wallet

13. Men are just as complicated as women

14. Women want sex as much as men do

15. Men want affection as much as women do

16. Women’s value doesn’t go down when they have sex

17. Men’s value doesn’t go up when they have sex

18. Women don’t owe anyone sex

19. Men don’t owe anyone to want sex all the time

20. Sex is the pleasure, not the penetration

21. Sex without consent is rape

22. Consent is an enthusiastic “YES!”

23. Anything but a “YES!” is a “NO”

24. “YES” is not “yes to everything”

25. Consent can be revoked at any moment

26. Rapists are next-door men

27. Rapists are friends, acquaintances, colleagues, members of the family, lovers, husbands

28. It’s never the victim’s fault

29. It’s always the rapist’s fault

30. The rapist can be your friend and a “Good Guy™”

31. No woman wants to admit she was raped

32. No woman wants to believe she was raped

33. There is no such thing as provocative clothing

34. Our body is not shameful

35. If you watch revenge porn, you are an accomplice

36. Virginity is a fake concept

37. If you are against abortions, you are not pro-life

38. The right to an abortion saves lives

39. Sexism is the bias and discrimination against women

40. There is no reverse sexism

41. Misogyny is extreme sexism, aiming to have power over and control women

42. There is internalized misogyny

43. There are no crimes of passion and honor

44. The murder of women because they are women, is called femicide

45. A femicide is a homicide with misogyny as a motive

46. There is no battle beween the sexes

47. Men and women both grew up with the same dark fairytale

48. Men are also harmed by patriarchy

49. Patriarchy is a human construct

50. Every human construct can be demolished.

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Apart from my TED talk, see me or listen to me speak:

See even more here

Book a session

© 2023 Irini Georgi

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