Irini Georgi

Irini Georgi

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Dating Tip: “I’m too boring, I can’t talk about myself”

Irini Georgi

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Dating Tip: "I'm too boring, I can't talk about myself"

I hear this often in sessions, and it saddens me, because I know the truth. No one is boring. Even if all you do is go to work and watch TV shows, you still have an entire universe of thoughts inside your mind.

Of course, it’s easier to define your identity through unique hobbies and say you do something like go paragliding every weekend, but that’s not what truly impresses people.

Talk about your favorite sandwich you order at work. Talk about the cringiest memory of your life. Say that you’re afraid of the dark and describe what the scariest monster you can imagine looks like. Admit which embarrassing pop song is hiding in your playlist.

Talk about the hobbies you tried and failed at. Talk about your worst holiday ever. Talk about your bedtime routine. Say what you’d like to be doing at 70 instead of watching the news like your parents.

People don’t connect through impressing each other. They connect through small glimpses of vulnerability, the kind that’s first shared with a touch of humor. That’s what makes a stranger feel a little more real, a little more human and closer to us.

Don’t hold back from meeting people just because you don’t have exciting hobbies or a glamorous job, and don’t write others off as boring just because they don’t. Beneath everyone’s effort to seem “normal,” there’s a complex, magical universe waiting to be discovered.

I’m not saying everyone is compatible with everyone, but look beneath the surface. I say to women: “Can you communicate with this person? Do you relate to something they say? Does the conversation flow? Do you laugh? Do you feel safe? Do you find yourself wanting to send them a reel because it reminded you of something you shared? Are your values compatible or is the gap unbridgeable?”

Those are the things that matter. No relationship survives just because both people like hiking, or the same type of music. Those may be starting points, but on their own, they don’t take you very far. Look deeper. And remember, we’re all made of stars.

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Why are so many men obsessed with beautiful women?

why men are obsessed with beautiful women

It seems obvious, but it’s not what you think. Everyone is attracted to beauty, but for many men, the pursuit of the most beautiful woman becomes an obsession. Let’s explore why.

Symbol

For many men, a beautiful woman isn’t just attractive. She’s a symbol. She symbolizes that they’ve “made it” in life. That’s why we talk about the “trophy woman.” It’s not about the woman, it’s about the man. Men who choose women solely based on appearance have learned to evaluate themselves through their success.

 Self-Esteem

We’re talking about performance-based self-esteem. When someone’s self-worth is built solely on performance (professional, social, sexual), then their choices are often filtered through what enhances that image, in order for them to feel like they’re enough.

Social Validation – Demands of Stereotypical Masculinity

A beautiful partner isn’t just a romantic choice, she’s social validation. It’s the male version of “what will people say.” What will other men say? How much will they admire me, envy me, respect me? How well will I prove that I’m man enough and that I’ve succeeded?

Disappointment

And yet, choosing the most beautiful woman they can “get” often creates anxiety, fear of rejection, and a deep sense of inadequacy. Later on, it leads to loneliness and unhappiness, because the relationship is based on external variables, not substance. They choose women with whom the relationship lacks depth, but they don’t allow themselves other criteria, because society demands this of them.

Patriarchy

This entire structure rests on patriarchal foundations. Because in patriarchy, a woman’s value is tied to her appearance, and a man’s to his earning power. Relationships become transactions. These beliefs are still passed down by fathers and reinforced by society, so boys grow up believing that only this formula will earn them approval and happiness. But that’s a lie.

If you’re a man and this resonates, ask yourself:

What does it mean to me to have a beautiful partner?
How does it affect the image I have of myself?

  • What am I afraid will happen if I choose a woman based on other traits, like character, compatibility, emotional connection, instead of looks?

  • How do I feel when I’m next to a very beautiful woman? Do I feel fear, self-doubt, or a need to prove something?

  • How is my value as a man tied to the woman I have next to me?

  • If I couldn’t rely on looks to choose a partner, what other qualities would be important to me?

These questions will help bring you closer to your true desires, beyond the stereotypes, and give you a trusted guide so you can track, find and pick the right partner for your authentic self.

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