So much has been written about the bear debate, and yet the conversation kept on, fuelled by men’s reactions. Why is it that so many men find it impossible to believe that this conversation is even happening?

Men who use all caps on social media, mad with frustration:

“But bears are dangerous! How can you not understand that? They can kill you! Why would you choose to be alone in the forest with a bear instead of a man?”

The answer is “so that you wonder why”. So that you ask yourself why. Because it’s a question that needs to be asked—and more importantly, reflected upon.

Why would a woman say such a thing? Could something else be at play, rather than the naive belief that bears are cuddly like Winnie the Pooh or fluffy plush toys? Could it be that this conversation isn’t about bears at all, but about men?

Could this be a sequel of the #MeToo movement, which, after the rejection of Harvey Weinstein’s conviction (because there were “too many” victims), didn’t achieve what it had promised?

Maybe the conversation that #MeToo started needed to go on, and a bear just happened to be passing by. The hero we didn’t know we needed.

Of course, those who react to the bear issue believe #MeToo had gone too far. On this, there’s a quote from a Guardian article on the #MeToo’s aftermath following Weinstein’s overturned conviction and the [then] likelihood of Trump’s return to the presidency. It says:

“The only thing that’s gone too far about MeToo, is the hypocrisy of suggesting it’s gone far enough.”

The bear was just a means to an end. Hopefully, we’ll find new means every so often, to keep the conversation going.

The bear memes are endless but the arguments supporting the bear choice are clear:

• Because the bear will recognize I’m human and probably won’t bother me if I don’t bother it.
• Because bears rarely attack humans, unlike men.
• Because everyone will believe me if I say a bear attacked me.
• Because no one will ask what I was wearing if a bear attacks me.
• Because no one will ask if I’d been drinking if a bear attacks me.
• Because no one will ask if I “led it on” if a bear attacks me.
• Because no one will ask if I mentioned having a boyfriend if a bear attacks me.
• Because no one will ask if I’d had a past relationship with the bear if it attacks me.
• Because no one will say I was “asking for it” if a bear attacks me.
• Because no one will ask if I screamed for help when the bear attacked.
• Because no one will ask if I fought back enough against the bear.
• Because no one will ask if I tried to reject the bear politely.
• Because no one will question if I was too polite, making it seem like I consented.
• Because the bear won’t violate my corpse after killing me.
• Because no one will say, “Impossible, I know that bear, it’s a nice guy.”
• Because the bear won’t say, “Serves you right for choosing a man over me.”

All these arguments make perfect sense in our society, where rape culture is the norm. But this isn’t about bears.

The arguments about the bear are really about men. And this conversation will remain relevant as long as people react so strongly. If one in three women had been attacked by a bear, no one would deny there’s a problem. But the conversation isn’t about bears.

If you’re a man, don’t focus on the bear. Look at yourself. Look around you—your friends, your conversations, the “locker room talk”. Reflect on what you’ve said or done in the past. Consider what you’re saying and doing today. How much safety do you inspire? How are you contributing to making the world safer for women?

Don’t look at the bear. Look at the forest.

Don’t look at the bear. Look at yourself.